I Did Not Order This

Umm, uterus? You know I love you and how you always build up a nice lining, and how you got pregnant and held onto that baby for all you were worth, and then properly expelled it a week after stopping meds, and then built up another nice lining and began to shed it in a timely manner. You are usually my favorite girly part.

But KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF with the cramps!

I do not want this. We're not pregnant this time. There's really no need for all this.

Thank you, drive through.