I am so close to reaching my major pregnancy goal: 28 weeks. (Of course, my ultimate pregnancy goal is: all of us out, alive.) Nothing is certain, but 28+ weekers are usually ok. I want that.
I have another growth scan this Wednesday. I am incredibly nervous. I did so well, for so long, at just ignoring everyone's concerns. But now I am terrified. I want to skip the ultrasound entirely; that's how much I dread it. Because if no one says there's a problem, then there isn't one! Science, bitches.
To make matters worse, my mother is coming. This is my own fault. She's been helping us a lot, while I've been on bedrest. Doing some shopping for us, bringing food, doing some cleaning. And she drove me to my last OB appointment. At that appointment, my OB reinstated my driving privileges, for short trips (and be careful, you idiot). And so, when my mom was here on Friday, asking about my next appointment and such, I told her when, but that I could drive. And she asked if she could take me anyway, and I said no. And then she just kept going on, and flat-out said she was angling to be invited, and it would mean so much, she hasn't seen anything since the pictures of them at 18 weeks, blah blah.
Guilt. Not just for Catholics, apparently.
So I caved. And now, if I get bad news, it will be in front of her, and that has been historically bad and I have no reason to suspect she'd suddenly change into someone who's supportive, whose shoulder I want to cry on.
Please please please please please let everything be ok with my babies.
We set up their cribs, after all.
8 comments:
Sending prayers up for those precious boys (and their Momma!)! Everything WILL be OK! xoxoxo!
Praying all goes well! :) I'm sure those babes are just fine and growing. Can I jump to 28 weeks too?
Lots of positive thoughts to you on wed!
It is hard to believe when you are reading a lot of IF blogs, that something happening to your babies, or having them born early is actually RARE. The chances of something bad happening to your babies is actually less than 3% at this point. (knock on wood). I'm sending you tons of good thoughts. Hang in there!
Hope all goes well at Wednesday's appointment and you get reassurance and not additional cause for anxiety.
I second what chickenpig said: though you wouldn't know it from being part of the ALI blogging community, problems at this stage are actually not common. (That comment is meant to provide reassurance, but of course, if you're like many of us, that just makes you think about how your luck has run so far.)
guilt is a mother thing, knows no race or religious affiliation. lol
But here's hoping for ALL good news and that even so/so news is met with your mom being surprisingly jaw droppingly supportive!
Thinking good thoughts for you... and your "science, bitches" made me laugh, because it's something that pre-kids I uttered regularly, and I now just say, "science." and add the rest mentally.
Hoping that all goes well at the scan on Wednesday. I hope your boys are still growing strong. xx
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