I'm not complaining. I'd go through years of vomiting daily, or even 4-6 times as is my norm right now, if it means I get a live baby out of it.
But if it doesn't, I'm going to be really fucking pissed.
I'm very nervous about my appointment tomorrow. I've never been to a real, live OB. (My gyno was actually a nurse practitioner.) I'm already hating the women in the waiting room, with their big, round bellies and their peace of mind.
This practice is highly referred by my RE, and when I said I was a patient of his, they were very excited for me and knew right what that meant. When they asked me my LMP and I responded with "it was IVF, I'm due March 4th", they were like "awesome, we'll put that in". The receptionist was nice to me when I called and said, "It turns out it's twins, do I need to do anything special for my appointment?" (No.)
But I'm still nervous. Because I'm an impostor, a pretend-preggo who should know better.
Because what if they won't give me an u/s? I'm still worried about Itsy's heart.
Or what if they do, and it's bad news?
When, when, when will I be normal?
8 comments:
I know what you mean about feeling like an imposter. I hope you like your new doctor.
Hitting the road tomorrow for our transfer BUT praying for you and will try to read tomorrow from the road! GOOD LUCK, PRAYING SO HARD!!
Hoping that your ultrasound shows all is well!!! I hear you on the frustration with big, round, blissfully ignorant bumps. I'm sure you'll soon have the first two, and while I think any woman who's pregnant after IF longs for the third, I think it's also a benefit that we'll never be that way. Thinking of you and your precious little ones!!!
Oh good luck today. I hope they recognize the effort it took to get you to this point and that they treat you accordingly (with an early US and lots of love).
can't wait to hear how your appointment goes today!
The feeling totally normal and fully reassured comes when you have an outside baby at full term and he/she is squalling and peeing on you.
It does get a lot better with the imposter syndrome and the feeling abnormal. 12 week ultrasound with definite baby appearance was a turning point for me. Starting to show is another. And definitely movement, which I hope for your sake will show up a bit sooner.
I think most OBs will do a dating ultrasound at the first appointment... most especially if you explain your concerns about one of your embryos measuring behind with a slow heart rate.
Boy.....are we having the same feelings or what?! I know the fear....but stay positive!! I know it's hard....I really know....
I am only 4 days behind you....how cool is that?!
I wish I could say "very soon" but in reality the answer is "when you bring your babies home". Then your new reality sets in :) Before that you will be a wreck, I'm sorry.
I can share a trick with you, though. I used to rub my belly with cocoa butter for stretch marks. It confounded the baby doppler, so at every appt they would roll in the portable us machine to see the heartbeats instead. Getting your own doppler (once the babies are old enough) will help ease your mind, too. (just make sure you wipe the cocoa butter off first ;)
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