7w6d: Ok, yeah, I freaked out

7w6d is when I lost my last baby. Who the fuck was I kidding thinking I could make it through today?

I actually made it till about 2:30pm, and then I called my RE's office. It's a holiday weekend here in Utah, so I assumed (correctly) that there would just be a skeletal staff. I talked to a nurse and was like, "Look, you can tell me if I'm being crazy, and it's ok, I'm just really nervous..." and explained the situation to her, about my appointment and their machine and having to wait. This nurse is not one of my favorites, and I figured she would tell it to me straight. I was expecting to hear, "Well, try to relax and everything will be fine." Instead she was like, "You've got a slow twin and a sinus bleed, come in now."

They had my ass on the table and a wand up my twat in half an hour.

They are very concerned about my sinus bleed. I don't really know anything about that, so I've just been putting it out of my mind and focusing on the babies. But apparently it's much larger than they're comfortable with. I frankly don't know what to make of it. What is going on is, I am bleeding inside my uterus. But it's not in the gestational areas really, but it's not going away. And as my babies grow, my uterus grows, and, most importantly, their placentas grow and start taking over the walls of my uterus. Bleeding into the forming placentas would be bad.

They were pretty clear with me that they don't usually see patients past 8 weeks and don't really manage this sort of care, but all 3 RE doctors are going to conference about my bleed (2 of them have seen it on the u/s), and decide what to do. They want it to stop bleeding without clotting, so it's tricky. Apparently just hanging out on my low-dose aspirin has not done the trick.

They're also putting a call into my OB's office. From the sound of it, 3 of their daughters have delivered out of that practice, and they're just going to throw their weight around on my behalf. Which is pretty awesome, if a touch scary.

Good news is, Itsy and Bitsy are both alive and growing!!! I'm beyond thrilled. Itsy is still measuring about 4 days behind, but is having consistent growth. The heart-rate was 134. Bitsy is measuring exactly to the day on track, and had a heart-rate of 159!

So my babies seem to be fine, and my uterus needs to just kick itself into shape.

Tomorrow marks brand-new territory for me: 8 weeks pregnant. And also happy anniversary of the Mormons settling the Valley, thinking they were in Mexico (little did they know, Utah had been sold). The thought of anyone mistaking Salt Lake City for Mexico is pretty hilarious in this day and age, by the way.