I have mentioned in the past that my clinic is good when things are good, and amazingly sucky when things aren't good. (This is why, once we've used our embryos, we will be switching clinics.) This was certainly true during my miscarriage.
They did not tell me anything. I got lots of hugs from the kind nurses, but not a single bit of information. While I usually have a whole list of questions and suggestions, I was unprepared this time. The only question I thought of, on my way out the door, was "Do I stop my progesterone?"
It didn't occur to me to ask about the estrogen. When it came time for my nightly dose, the clinic was of course closed. I was afraid to call my sister, because then we'd have to talk about everything. So...I just assumed I should stop it.
I called them when I started bleeding. I pretty much said, "I have started bleeding. I don't know what to do now." And they pretty much said, "Don't do anything. There's nothing to be done." I asked when I could try again, and was told after my next period. I asked if I needed any tests or anything and they said no.
There was no mention of not using tampons. There was no mention of not taking baths. I did both. I would probably do the baths again, because they helped so much. I didn't use tampons until about day 3, and stopped once commenters (thank you!) told me to.
But HELLO, doctors! My goal is NOT to get a serious infection and risk my reproductive organs any further. Thanks for the help, jerks.
I don't know. I'm still very sad. My bleeding is very light today, but I still feel awful. My morning sickness is gone and my breasts have deflated a bit, but...I just want to crawl into a cave and cry.
14 comments:
I still think you (and every woman who's been through this) are heroic in a way that can't be described. Just for surviving.
I can't believe they didn't give you any information. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Sending thoughts and hugs. That truly stinks that they're not there when you need them the most.
I'll meet you in the cave. We can make a fire, cook up some smores and vent about the jerky things RE clinics do sometimes. :) Thinking of you.
ugh.wtf? How can you be an re clinic and NOT be able to handle uncomfortable situations like losses and failed procedures. Total crap.
Glad you got some good advice. When you said you were able to wear tampons i thought you meant you were told that. smh but those clowns didnt tell you ANYTHING. trash
im so sorry, my friend. so, so sorry for this loss. i don't know if you are religious (we aren't so much anymore but were both brought up catholic) but i found this website
so comforting after i lost the girls.
thinking of you a lot and so glad you are switching clinics.
xoxo
lis
Marissa, I can't believe that the clinic left you without any guidance. You definitely should switch, and by the way, your embryos belong to you, so you should see if you can move them and do a transfer in the clinic where they will take good care of you and your baby. It makes me mad reading about your troubles and it is not like they are doing it for free!
Oh you poor thing! I know exactly how you feel having been through the same thing myself over Christmas. You are grieving right now, nothing will make you feel better for the moment. Cry as much as you want, let it all out. Eventually you wont be able to cry anymore, and you will start to see light. My heart was broken, but as time passed, I did start to feel better. You can't rush it. Feel every emotion 100%.
As regards your clinic, they obviously have poor protocol for dealing with loss- that is not on. If you feel up to it, move. It's hard to fight nen you are feeling so low. Maybe let your DH deal with them?
Huh, I can't believe they didn't give you any info. After a week, I had to have betas for three weeks following until my levels reached zero. You might want to give them a call. ((hugs))
I'm sorry you were so ill-informed. My RE also forgot to tell me about the m/c protocol/process. For the 1st 2 days, I did were tampons as I don't use pads. It dawned on me that 2nd day that I really shouldn't be using them for several reasons. I was truly blessed to have caring women that unfortunately went through the same that I could turn to for guidance and support.
It takes time, patience, and lots of self-reflection, but eventually, you'll find yourself in a better emotional/mental state about it all. I'm still sad about my m/c but no longer angry, hurt, and inconsolably upset.
Thinking of you and I'm here if you need anyone to talk to about anything!
1) big big hugs and 2) your clinic should be more understanding and caring. this is not a time to just be ambivalent on their part. jerks indeed
*big hug* after my big loss last year I was lucky to have a team of doctors guide me through what was going to happen. Regardless of how far along you are somebody should be in your corner with all the information. Not sure if anyone has told you this or not but I was also told that I HAD to get my HCG levels tested every week until they hit zero again. If your HCG levels don't go back to zero there is a chance that some *material* (sorry lack of a better word :( ) might have stayed in your uterus. That's a big risk for any woman experiencing a miscarriage. I would for sure ask about that and just get them to write you an open requisition.
Your clinic should have given you more guidance for SURE. I'm so sorry:( I'm also sorry that I wasn't astute enough (like other readers) to catch the tampon or bath reference.
And I'm still (and also) annoyed that they're not going to follow your HCG back to zero. Like Tracy above, it was never an option for me NOT to, even with my 5 week m/c where there wasn't even a sac. If you don't want to deal with them, you could ask your GYN to order it?
As for the cave, that is the harder thing. By far.
It's kind of amazing to me the way your clinic is handling this. How could they not keep monitoring your HCG? How could they not tell you when to stop taking the progesterone? These things seem obvious to me, and I don't know anything about anything!
I think you're handling this amazingly well and I'm so sorry you're going through it.
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