Day 5(?)--Heroin Chic

I think today is Day Five of stims, but it might only be Day Four. I have taken four injections and take my fifth tonight. So you do the math.

On my original schedule, I was supposed to get an estradiol workup after three nights of stims. Which would have been yesterday. But they changed their minds and so I don't get any scans or any blood work until tomorrow. I should be grateful. My veins need time to heal. I have a very, very large bruise on my left forearm from an IV attempt. It's so large I'm worried about it, and thankful that it's winter so very few people see my forearms. It's gross and also just...so large, so visible. I want it gone. I have a smaller bruise in my right elbow-pit from another attempt. Two attempts, actually, going by the two pin-pricks. I've got a gross one on my left hand, from the blood-draw last Monday, at my cyst check. And I've got two bruises on my right hand (they were one, but have now shrunk into two, with a red pin-prick at the center of each), one from yet another attempt, and one from the actual IV. To my credit (and see how sane I was after the Versed??) when they attempted to remove my IV, I suggested they leave the needle in and draw blood that way, rather than poke me again. They did, after tossing a vial of "watered down" blood first.

So yes, I look like a drug addict. I am not looking forward to tomorrow's poke. But I really wish I'd had a test yesterday. Something to reassure me. "No news is good news" isn't usually the case with me. Rather, "no news is bad news you just don't know yet". I really am trying to be optimistic. I am trying to tune into my ovaries. I feel a bit bloated and swollen today but...I just don't know. I hope this is working.

Please let this be working.