Yes, that's exactly what I felt like.
I still feel pretty bad. I've got my Dostinex. And I've drunk nearly 3 liters of Gatorade G2. I...really am sick of it. I never much liked Gatorade (or any drink besides water and...well, the good stuff, like whiskey sours, mojitos, red wine, etc). Now I stare at my little plastic jug of it and just want to hurl it through the window. But I'm sane enough to know that my OHSS risk is still high and that I don't truly want to be hospitalized or (worse yet, from my point of view) have to freeze all my embryos before transfer. So I drink the foul stuff, and some Muscle Milk, and eat salty lentils, chick peas (so, in other words, my favorite Indian dishes...mmm, chana saag), and make protein shakes of my own.
I hate to sound whiny, but I think I preferred all my injections. At that was over and done with, as opposed to this god forsaken Gatorade (which comes in all sorts of nasty flavors).
My favorite nurse, H, called me today. Yesterday was her day off, so she hadn't seen my fertilization report. She called me just to say congratulations and to squeal with me. (She has twins from IVF herself, and has been with me since early on in this journey.) I really appreciated that. There was no news on my embryos, of course, since they are enjoying some quiet, dark, alone time in the incubator.
I'm having a bit of a dilemma. Originally, way back when, JimDear and I wanted to do an elective single embryo transfer, preferably with a blastocyte. As my cycles were cancelled and the bad news grew and grew, we decided to do 2 if it was Day 3, and 1 if Day 5. Then it went to "maybe 2 on Day 5, depending on quality". And finally it was at "two, no matter when, no matter what." JimDear still feels that way.
I'm not sure I do. I'm sure its possible to do the things I want to do (natural childbirth barring health concerns, babywearing, breastfeeding, lots of interaction with the infant(s), raising them bilingual, etc.) I just feel like it would be a whole hell of a lot harder. And now that we found a protocol that works for me, the thought of doing another fresh cycle really isn't that daunting at all, as opposed to the "dear god I must be nuts to try this again, let's throw 5 back and complete our family in on go, one way or the other". I am not a small woman (I'm 5'7" and...well, let's just say grabbing a pinch of belly fat for injections wasn't much of a challenge), but carrying multiples is still not without risk, to me or the babies. The thought of having babies in the NICU is not one I welcome.
I think, by the time twins are 3ish, it probably isn't much different than having two children who are very close in age, like my siblings and I, like I would ideally prefer for a family. But the pregnancy and those first few years...that's a lot.
Of course, putting back 2 doesn't mean twins. And it does increase my chances of getting pregnant at all. And I think part of my husband's desire to do 2 is so that...well, he doesn't have to live with me if I get a negative and just fall apart. These past few months have not been fun for him, and he has been wonderful. I can't blame him for not wanting to endure that again.
I just really don't know right now.
6 comments:
I think it's best to talk to your RE about exactly what your percentages are, and go from there. If it were me, I would do two, as the likelihood of both taking is fairly slim- but- I would also be ok with twins, so it's not as pressing a decision for me. But, most importantly, do what you're most comfortable with.
Oh, and I always thought Orange Gatorade was the least obnoxious... so try that one if you haven't...
If I had my way, I would put back three. My husband would never agree. Don't worry, if need be you will handle it.
I always dilute Gatorade with water, it makes it much more palatable.
I'm also limited to Gatorade or Propel, but can only have one liter per day. Instead I opted for water with EmergenC packets. The Propel was making me sick.
So many factors go into the decision of how many embies to transfer. Only you and your husband can decide, but I definitely recommend you listen to your doctor who can tell you the likelihood of multiples, given YOUR case.
All the best.
Okay first of all, the spider cracks me up. All those eyes really lend her the crazed-infertile look that we all know so well.
As for the decision about transferring -- very hard. I don't know what I would do in your situation. I agree with the others -- talk to your Dr. about your reservations. And go with your gut (that's my advice for everything!)
It's a tough decision. (And I feel you on the spider:)
I never thought about the spider egg sac, but that is the best description of what hyperstimulating feels like that i've ever heard - bravo! I also feel the pain on the Gatorade - icky, but Ithink it may have saved me from being hospitalized.
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