My trigger is gone, and this morning's test was stark white. Which is not a surprise, as it is very early. But today is the first day I'm really struggling. I'm trying not to let doubt overcome me. I had lovely embryos. I relaxed the first two days, and it's not like I went out and ran a marathon yesterday or dropped 80 pounds onto my pelvis today. No reason to have doubts, except that...well, I've never gotten pregnant before, so why should this be any different?
Because I know, KNOW that I have two fertilized embryos inside of me, is why! Woohoo! Babies!!
But this morning I felt the oddest thing. Twingey, but not exactly. Certainly not cramps. Down low enough that it might be uterus, but maybe too far to the left, so maybe ovaries. I had huge ovaries at transfer, and my left one was battling with my bladder, and trust me when I say it was winning. (I may or may not have shot a look of death at the medical assistant who said it "looks like your bladder is only about 3/4 full--let me see if the doctor can still do it." Yes, he could.) So that ovary could be doing something special. Which could kick my embryos out before they've even built a playfort.
And the completely non-rational part of me (who refuses to believe that there aren't a bunch of nerves hanging out in my endometrium) thinks "Oooh, maybe that was implantation!"
I really wish someone could just knock me out for the next few days.
Instead, I am obsessively googling "embryo development" and such. I ran across a pretty good site: http://www.ehd.org/dev_article_unit1.php It gives lots of detail but doesn't blind me with science.
17 comments:
I can't imagine what you are going through right now but I am wishing you the best of luck!! I will soon be in 2ww hell also.
I hate the 2ww! I bet it's so much harder during IVF! I'm waiting here with you : )
I can imagine how difficult it is right now. Thinking of you!
I'm with you, sister! Every twinge makes me think it's implantation.
Of course I remember that each month I feel twinges. Arggghhhh!!!
Hang in there!
I'm rooting for you! I really hope this is it!
I hope these next few days fly by! Lots of love and hope for a very happy beginning next week!
Hang in there! You are still very early. Those twinges could be implantation. Sending sticky vibes!
I feel your anxiety in your post. Hang in there girl. You've got a lot of people rooting for those little babies!
Hi! Stopping by from ICLW and started following your blog! Want to wish you LOTS of luck with your embies, which are BEAUTIFUL by the way. ;)
lovelifeandinfertility.com
I gave you an award- come over and check it out!
All the doubting and maybe-ing and Google-ing can drive a person batty. I'm crossing all my crossables for you and sending lots of SBVs your way.
(Here from ICLW)
http://the-wheeler-family.net/aramelle_blog/
the doubt in the 2ww is very hard to over come. the biggest thing that helps me is to try to take long walks with my dog (cuz i usually want to work out and i don't do that in the 2ww) and do things that help me stay in the moment, like reading or cooking. i totally understand that fear of "why should this work, ya know?" i TOTALLY agree on being knocked out for the whole 2ww. that would be ideal. oh and beautiful embryos bwt!..hoping your 2ww goes by fast and you get a beautiful BFP. thanks for stopping by my blog.
Your embabies are so BEAUTIFUL!! I am hoping they will stick!! Best of luck to you on your 2WW... it sucks!
Thanks for the comment on my blog Marissa. Your words were just want I needed to hear. Thanks for sharing your ER numbers. I'm really hoping that my lil ovaries surprise the bejeezers out of us when the day finally gets here.
Hoping your 2ww passes quickly- I'm dreading the waiting already!
Posting again to let you know that I have an award for you on my blog. :)
http://the-wheeler-family.net/aramelle_blog/
I'm going with implantation, and crossing everything that this is so. (I once had implantation pain that occurred more to one side...just assumed it was some type of referred pain).
The wait is terrible. I hope you have some good things to occupy your time.
Visiting from ICLW. Fingers crossed for implantation and a well behaved ovary! You have beautiful images of your embies, how exciting. Best Wishes for your pregnant until proven otherwise, two week wait.
Post a Comment