Saturday, May 21, 2011

4dp5dt: The End is Nigh

Ok, now, I believe religion should be treated with respect. I myself am not religious, but I was raised religious, many of my best friends are religious, I've lived in different cultures and been exposed to many religions (not just branches of Christianity--actually many different religions) in depth. So I don't mock.

But if you predict a day and a time for the rapture, you're really just setting yourself up.

But anyway. Suffice to say, should said rapture occur, I will very likely not be going. Which I'm kind of glad about.

I have a BF?.

Yesterday, my first day of testing, the conversation with my husband went like this:

HIM: So what does it say?
ME: Well...
HIM: It's too early, right?
ME: More or less.
HIM: Meaning?
ME: Well...when I hold it at a certain angle, I can kind of see a line.
HIM: What does that mean?
ME: ...it's too early.

Today, conversation went like this:
ME: Look! (Shoves still damp stick under his nose) I dipped a second one, just in case.
HIM: I don't see anything.
ME: No, LOOK!
HIM: ...that?
ME: Yes, that!
HIM: What umm, what is it?
ME: It's a very clear shadow. It's clearer than I remember my 9dpo test being last time.
HIM: Nine days past O?
ME: Where I am today. 4 days post-transfer. It's darker, I swear.
HIM: Go look!

Well, of course I kept the tests. I kept the tests, the embryo pictures (we have 2, one pre-freeze and one post-thaw), and our first ultrasound pictures. It's all I have of my almost-baby. I wish I'd had the courage and presence of mind to ask for ultrasound pictures the second time. No, there was no heart. There wasn't even a visible fetus. But the sac was so much bigger. It wasn't viable but it was still alive.

Anyway.

The tests from last time are very dry, and somewhat dusty. I looked at my 4dp5dt one and couldn't see the shadow I know I saw. But of course, the tests from this morning are still somewhat damp--the lines are pink, not a faded purple.

I can't really compare to last time, at least not yet.

There is something. I don't know what to do with it. I don't want to get overly excited. But I don't want to deny myself joy either.

Frankly, I simply cannot believe it. I can't believe one of those embryos is becoming a baby. It boggles my mind.

So I'm glad I'm not getting raptured today, because I really want to see how this all plays out.

10 comments:

Lulu said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby Hopes said...

Hoping, hoping, hoping those lines get darker!!!

Adele said...

I'm glad that I'm not getting raptured so that I can HEAR how this all turns out.

So very hopeful for you.

Mrs BabyDream said...

Sounds promising!!!

Guinevere said...

New reader very excited to hear your BF?. At 9dpo, that is really fantastic and a good sign. I didn't get even a vague shadow of a faint maybe-line until 5dp5dt! Keeping fingers crossed that things keep darkening from here on out!

Guinevere said...

PS - our super-secret infertility and now pregnancy blog is http://mesdamesplusbabies.blogspot.com -- don't put that on my profile because there are many family members who are the reason we even have a "Our kid is cute" blog, and we don't really want all of them to know the details of how many doctors have been shoving a dildocam up my lady parts on a regular basis.

Bridget said...

Oh I'm excited!! I hope the lines keep getting darker!!

Gurlee said...

Yes! I have a great feeling about this :)

Hanen said...

Rapture schmapture! But a very faint line is exciting. Hoping this is a good cycle for you too xxh

JustHeather said...

Wishing for the best! I can't wait to hear about the lines getting darker.