Holding My Breath

I called my nurse yesterday to (a) inform her that I'd gone hunting for drugs from a different supplier, and (b) tell her I think I started my period. Now, I am 31. I do indeed know what a period is. But like...I spotted for 2 days, but it was bright red? But not enough to fill the tampons I used (hate panty liners, hate pads!). And then yesterday morning I awoke to what I was pretty sure was it...but the flow was still really light, and I'm back to spotting today. Whatever, body. Lupron and BCP and a 35 day cycle...they can all just suck it.

Anyway, my nurse, when she called me back, said how happy she and Dr H were that I'd gotten some happy pills (and I think they're working already, though I was told 2 weeks. I have more energy today than I have in months!). We also had the scheduling talk. It went something like this.

Me: So am I supposed to go on birth control now?
Her: Well, when would you like to cycle?
Me: As soon as possible. Today?
Her: *laugh* (thinking, not actually funny) Well, the next batch is Dr B's batch.
Me: (thinking, then I wouldn't have you for a nurse, and I really like you. But on the other hand, Dr B's nurse, D, I totally love her and was so sad to leave her. I'm evensteven on doctors, don't much care, but the nurses...well, I guess you all know me anyway, it's not like I don't talk to D each time I enter your Office of Bad News, so I'm sure I'll see you...)Ok, when is it?
Her: January 9th.
Me: Oh nice! Yes, sign me up!!! (pause) Do you think the cyst will be gone by then? Because I really don't know if I could take getting all excited about cycling and then being crushed again.
Her: Well, I really can't say.
Me: So like, with the antagonist cycle, I go straight from the Pill to baseline, right?
Her: Yes.
Me: So that would be my first ultrasound, but I wouldn't have started injecting, so I could just pretend it was a regular checkup, kinda?
Her: Would you like a cyst checkup?
Me: Umm...
Her: We could just do a blood draw, if money is your concern. It would be a lot cheaper, but a lot less accurate.
Me: Well, how much would that be?
Her: You know, let me check with Dr H and billing and see if we can work something out. We should be able to code this as a cyst check, not infertility. Your insurance might cover it.
Me: I love you! Thank you!!!!!
Her: I'll call you back.
Me: (gets prepared to wait for a day. It was already like 6, after hours. So, imagine my surprise when she called me back, not more than 15 minutes later) That was quick!
Her: Dr H says we'll try to bill your insurance, and if it doesn't go through, we'll just write it off.
Me: Oh my god, thank you sooooo much!
Her: So we'll do an ultrasound.
Me: Really??? Thank you!!!
Her: No problem. We want to do it on cycle day 2-4. So...how's Wednesday?
Me: Perfect!!!

So, tomorrow morning, I might get some answers. Nothing from this office has been good news yet, but somehow I am still very hopeful.

The secret part is, if we do cycle with this batch, our transfer might very well be on my husband's birthday. Which means nothing, except, well, that would be the most pregnant I have ever been.