Christmas was not as bad as I feared. I'm sure some of that is from my happy pills (been on them 2.5 weeks now, and while I'm not skipping around shitting rainbows, I do feel like the world is a place where I can actually live instead of needing to hide in my house as much as possible). Part of it, though, was sheer determination. I am so sick of not being the aunt I want to be. I went for my niece first and often throughout all our gatherings. I cried once on Christmas Eve and once on Christmas, but they were brief bouts. I was able to stay the entire time for all gatherings (which is no small feat--Christmas Day goes from 10 am to 6pm). I attended every party, dinner, gift exchange. I am proud of myself.
I am so ready to be done with it all. To slam the door on 2010 and move on.
My RE, Dr. B, did not agree with my other RE, Dr. H. He thinks the cyst on my right ovary might interfere with my cycle. Since it is his batch, he calls the shots. He wants me to come in for a 2nd ultrasound, either this Friday or on Monday. I can't do Friday, and can't really do Monday either (especially since I'll be coming in late on Thursday, from my baseline...), but I will. I am prepared to demand that he aspirate the cyst if it is present. I am prepared to argue my way into some treatment or another. I have been attempting to suppress my lovely ovaries since September now. I am fed up with it. I refuse to accept "next time" any longer.
It's been a rough, long, ugly December, 2 of my friends lost their mothers, and one lost her father as well. I try to be thankful for what I have. It doesn't always work.
4 comments:
Good luck with your follow up! Hopefully it will not interfere...but if they say it will press for the aspiration!!!
"I try to be thankful for what I have. It doesn't always work." So well put.
*hugs* good luck with your follow up
It has been a pretty ugly December, buh-bye 2010! I hope your cyst does not interfere, how frustrating. Good luck and I hope this move in a forward direction.
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