17w5d: Belly rub

I'm still kind of in shock. A complete stranger asked me how far along I was, and if she could touch my belly.

I think the weird part is that she knew I was pregnant. So...maybe I really am? Or something?

I mean, look, anyone who knows me (and by "know" I mean has spent more than an hour with me) knows I'm pregnant. It's the puking. There's no way to hide that, so yes--work, school, acquaintances, even some of my patients (if I've had to quickly leave their room, or if the nurse I was with just felt like sharing, which one of them did, to everyone)--they all know. But they know because I (or someone else) told them. Not because I just somehow radiate "pregnant".

But apparently, now I do. I'm not even in cute clothes, empire waist frilly stuff. Just a black t-shirt. My boobs, up until recently, outpaced my belly. But yes, I suppose I have become quite large. The weightloss doesn't really help, since it comes from the rest of my body, meaning I'm shrinking while only my belly (and boobs) grows. I'm still not skinny, but it wouldn't surprise me if I've dropped 2-3 sizes (which, who knows, since I'm not exactly wearing cute, fitted clothing right now).

So yes, pregnant. Weird.

I let the woman touch my belly, by the way. I love touching pregnant bellies. I've never asked a stranger, but friends and family, I have asked. I love to feel the babies move, especially. You can't feel my babies yet--not their movements or even their positions. But you can feel my uterus. I wonder about that woman. It was a one-sided exchange--I told her 18 weeks with twins, she touched me and moved on. She was maybe 50? I wonder if she has children, or if she never did. If things were easy or difficult for her. I wonder what she thinks of me (does she assume fertility drugs?).

It's the complete opposite of infertility, where I could scream about it all I wanted and no one (for the most part) wanted to hear. Pregnancy invited everyone in. My reproductive status has transformed from "personal" or "shameful" or "we just don't want to know, thanks", to everyone else's business.

Maybe I should get a sticker that says "IVF babies", so that the part society was reluctant to acknowledge gets some focus too (and so infertile women don't hate me on sight).