I took a pregnancy test this morning, and I have two pink lines.
No, I am not pregnant. Yes, it is my trigger. Yes, my clinic requires us to take a test, to ensure that our bodies have absorbed the hCG and that the batch was good.
But this is the first time in my entire life I have gotten a positive pregnancy test result.
I am not delusional. I don't think that, since the trigger worked, I'm automatically pregnant. I understand that this pregnancy test is nothing more than a fancy OPK.
But fuck all that. There are TWO LINES and they are MINE. I am uncomfortable with the notion that anyone "deserves" a pregnancy or a baby. Life is simply not fair (except when it is). I wouldn't say that I "deserve" for this IVF to result in a real, live, take-home baby. But I have earned those fucking lines.
I have earned those lines through my blood. I have had five draws for this cycle (one to see if the cyst was producing estrogen, one for baseline, three for monitoring). I have had I-don't-even-know-how-many draws for my previous two cancelled cycles. And of course, the rubella titers, the chickenpox one, the HIV, chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, complete blood count, pre-cycle work up. And you know what? JimDear gave blood for that too. We have both paid for this in blood.
And lord knows I have paid for this in tears. Tears over cancellation, tears from Lupron-induced nightmares and anxiety attacks, tears at an extremely painful blood draw (during a cancelled cycle, naturally), tears after holding my baby niece at Christmas and thinking "my god, this might be the closest I come to being a mom." Tears from before Thanksgiving when the doctor said, "and after the holidays..." and meant actually all of the holidays, not just the upcoming one. Tears when my husband was describing his best Christmas ever, when he secured the must-have toy (a Boo doll, from Monsters Inc.) for his own young niece years ago, because the entire story said, "THIS MAN SHOULD BE A FATHER." Tears of joy when I saw those 17 precious follicles on Tuesday morning. My husband, too, has paid for it in tears. His are more rare than mine, and thus more precious.
Sweat? Why yes. Night sweats from my insane hormone regimens. From driving down the mountain in an absolute panic on my way to the clinic straight from work, terrified of being late and thus postponed till another day, month, years. Sweat on my husband's forehead last night as he injected the hCG into my upper-outer ass, so nervous about hurting me yet needing to do it and do it right.
We have earned that second pink line, through our blood, tears, sweat, and yes, through our money. The vacations we haven't taken, the gifts we haven't bought, the corners cut. The insecurity of having a savings account with only $300 in it, when we are trying to bring a life into this world.
We have earned that line, this chance.
I did not think it would be this hard to get to this point. Nothing in our diagnoses or test results gave us any clue. The part I was worried about--fertilization--is still to come. But this part, this part is over, and I have earned my prize.
A positive.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Itchy Trigger Finger
So, to the tune of "The Wonderful Thing about Tiggers":
The wonderful thing about triggers
Is triggers are wonderful things!
You draw it into the needle,
Then into your ass it springs!
They're pokey, jabby, painful, crappy,
Pretty much no fun!
But the most wonderful thing about triggers is:
I am getting one!
But what time? I dunno and I'm getting antsy. They said they'd call "this afternoon" and now it's 4:15! I may or may not have already called and left a gently inquiring message. I may or may not drive down there and sit outside the door till they answer me. (Or actually, they called me as I was spell-checking this. I trigger at 10:30 tonight for a 9:30 am retrieval on Monday. Woohoo!!)
I've got 23 (they keep multiplying!! Like those...things from Star Trek. My husband would know what I mean. You know, those things.) And 6 of them are at 19-21mm. And my waist circumference is probably at 19 meters or so. I feel huge. But it'll be worth it. Besides, I'm a bit of a masochist. Of course this hurts, of course I'm more uncomfortable every day. I need to know it's working, and I need to feel it. This is a life-changing event for me (one way or the other), so of course it hurts! Walking through fire isn't supposed to be easy, you know? But it's how you become a different person on the other side.
A different, better, pregnant person.
Dr. B (who has done each and every one of my scans this time around--is that an antagonist thing, is it a third-time's-the-charm thing, is it a this-chick-insane-you-scan-her thing??) is concerned that I'll get ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS). So he's given me a prescription for a very nice, very expensive medication called Dostinex, and rather odd directions to take it very 3.5 days. Also, Gatorade, salt, and protein after retrieval. (Too bad I'm not JimDear. I'm a vegetarian who really only likes drinking water. Whatever, salty lentil soup it is, I guess.) Here's the thing, though. I'm kind of secretly thrilled to be at risk for OHSS. (See above if you doubt my sanity. Or wait, maybe don't.) They started me on 300IU of Bravelle (my FSH brand) because, the last time I began stims (in, you know, September...) I responded really weirdly. But now we know that was the Lupron, and 300 may have been a tad bit too much (and my bank account would agree). But anyway, this is a risk I'm willing to take. I'm much more comfortable with the risk of OHSS than the risk of, say, only having 3 eggs for JimDear's sperm to make magic with. I know this is not medically sound and I should be bemoaning the fact that I overstimmed, but...yeah, not so much.
I'm so excited for this! I am hoping my eggs are perfectly matured and easy to retrieve, but for now I'll be thrilled about a shot in the ass and being one step closer.
The wonderful thing about triggers
Is triggers are wonderful things!
You draw it into the needle,
Then into your ass it springs!
They're pokey, jabby, painful, crappy,
Pretty much no fun!
But the most wonderful thing about triggers is:
I am getting one!
But what time? I dunno and I'm getting antsy. They said they'd call "this afternoon" and now it's 4:15! I may or may not have already called and left a gently inquiring message. I may or may not drive down there and sit outside the door till they answer me. (Or actually, they called me as I was spell-checking this. I trigger at 10:30 tonight for a 9:30 am retrieval on Monday. Woohoo!!)
I've got 23 (they keep multiplying!! Like those...things from Star Trek. My husband would know what I mean. You know, those things.) And 6 of them are at 19-21mm. And my waist circumference is probably at 19 meters or so. I feel huge. But it'll be worth it. Besides, I'm a bit of a masochist. Of course this hurts, of course I'm more uncomfortable every day. I need to know it's working, and I need to feel it. This is a life-changing event for me (one way or the other), so of course it hurts! Walking through fire isn't supposed to be easy, you know? But it's how you become a different person on the other side.
A different, better, pregnant person.
Dr. B (who has done each and every one of my scans this time around--is that an antagonist thing, is it a third-time's-the-charm thing, is it a this-chick-insane-you-scan-her thing??) is concerned that I'll get ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS). So he's given me a prescription for a very nice, very expensive medication called Dostinex, and rather odd directions to take it very 3.5 days. Also, Gatorade, salt, and protein after retrieval. (Too bad I'm not JimDear. I'm a vegetarian who really only likes drinking water. Whatever, salty lentil soup it is, I guess.) Here's the thing, though. I'm kind of secretly thrilled to be at risk for OHSS. (See above if you doubt my sanity. Or wait, maybe don't.) They started me on 300IU of Bravelle (my FSH brand) because, the last time I began stims (in, you know, September...) I responded really weirdly. But now we know that was the Lupron, and 300 may have been a tad bit too much (and my bank account would agree). But anyway, this is a risk I'm willing to take. I'm much more comfortable with the risk of OHSS than the risk of, say, only having 3 eggs for JimDear's sperm to make magic with. I know this is not medically sound and I should be bemoaning the fact that I overstimmed, but...yeah, not so much.
I'm so excited for this! I am hoping my eggs are perfectly matured and easy to retrieve, but for now I'll be thrilled about a shot in the ass and being one step closer.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Day 8 of Stims: Sittin' Pretty
No mind reader out there would have wanted to be my friend these past two days. I have been insufferably smug, and probably a bit repetitious. My thoughts have gone something like this, "Ugh, morning, my 17 follicles are not ready to wake up just yet!" ... "Better clean those 17 follicles from the outside in the shower." ... "What would my 17 follicles like for breakfast?" ... "Oh, fuck that, my 17 follicles and I are not putting on those jeans today." ... "Ok, follicles? I know there are 17 of you and I'm very proud of each and every one of you, but we did just go pee an hour ago, you cannot possibly be telling me there's no more room in there." ... "Why yes, my 17 follicles and I would be happy to take this phone call". And so on.
My 17 follicles and I undressed from the waist down this morning. My 17 follicles winced and whined as Dr. B insulted them with the seeing-eye-dildo. My 17 follicles proudly announced the addition of 3 more follicles to our little family.
HA! My twenty follicles and I are going to be absolutely unbearable.
I've got 5 follicles (so smart, so pretty) at 15-17mm.
I've got 10 follicles (content with their lot, no need to be overachievers here) at 13-15mm.
And I've got 5 follicles (momma always did like you best!) at 10-12mm.
Take that, Lupron!! Fuck you very much. Me and the antagonist protocol are having a party over here and you're not invited. My 20 follicles are drinking (what? there's no sperm in there yet!) whiskey sours like there's no tomorrow. But there is a tomorrow, for me and my 20 follicles! Me and my 20 follicles will stim as usual (plus the Ganirelix, which stings like a bitch but is prettier than Lupron, that's for damn sure) tonight and tomorrow. Me and my 20 follicles will haul our fat, bloated self to the RE's on Saturday, where my 20 follicles and I are expecting to be told that we're absolutely the shining stars of the clinic and can trigger that night.
My 20 follicles are expected to be harvested on Monday, but I haven't explained to them quite what that means. No need to shock them.
My lining is at 12mm, and my e2 is still unknown. But me and my 20 follicles are so totally taking this show on the road.
See, I gave up on the idea of having "any left to freeze" in October. I gave up on "probably a 5 day transfer" in November. I honestly gave up on "any to even fertilize" in December. But now, I think, "hey, even if half my follicles are empty or immature, that still leaves ten for JimDear's sperm and our expert embryologist to make magic with. And even if ICSI only takes on half of those, and even if only half of those develop normally, I can still transfer two." With a half left over.
Maybe IVF will work for us after all?
EDIT: And my e2 is at 1091, not too shabby!
My 17 follicles and I undressed from the waist down this morning. My 17 follicles winced and whined as Dr. B insulted them with the seeing-eye-dildo. My 17 follicles proudly announced the addition of 3 more follicles to our little family.
HA! My twenty follicles and I are going to be absolutely unbearable.
I've got 5 follicles (so smart, so pretty) at 15-17mm.
I've got 10 follicles (content with their lot, no need to be overachievers here) at 13-15mm.
And I've got 5 follicles (momma always did like you best!) at 10-12mm.
Take that, Lupron!! Fuck you very much. Me and the antagonist protocol are having a party over here and you're not invited. My 20 follicles are drinking (what? there's no sperm in there yet!) whiskey sours like there's no tomorrow. But there is a tomorrow, for me and my 20 follicles! Me and my 20 follicles will stim as usual (plus the Ganirelix, which stings like a bitch but is prettier than Lupron, that's for damn sure) tonight and tomorrow. Me and my 20 follicles will haul our fat, bloated self to the RE's on Saturday, where my 20 follicles and I are expecting to be told that we're absolutely the shining stars of the clinic and can trigger that night.
My 20 follicles are expected to be harvested on Monday, but I haven't explained to them quite what that means. No need to shock them.
My lining is at 12mm, and my e2 is still unknown. But me and my 20 follicles are so totally taking this show on the road.
See, I gave up on the idea of having "any left to freeze" in October. I gave up on "probably a 5 day transfer" in November. I honestly gave up on "any to even fertilize" in December. But now, I think, "hey, even if half my follicles are empty or immature, that still leaves ten for JimDear's sperm and our expert embryologist to make magic with. And even if ICSI only takes on half of those, and even if only half of those develop normally, I can still transfer two." With a half left over.
Maybe IVF will work for us after all?
EDIT: And my e2 is at 1091, not too shabby!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Day Six: A New Hope
I hate going to my RE's. Absolutely hate it. I can't think of a single time I have walked out of there with good news. My stomach clenches when I wake up and usually doesn't stop for days. Driving there is like driving to a nightmare. Sitting undressed-from-the-waist-down on the table waiting, waiting, waiting for the ultrasound is pure hell.
Except today, he inserted the wand, did the uterus (blah blah blah, my mind is always going, my lining has never been an issue, skip to the ovaries already)...and I saw follicles! He started measuring and I almost started crying!!
In the end, I have seventeen follicles. Tomorrow I start Ganirelix.
Holy fucking shit.
I might make it to retrieval. We might actually get to try ICSI!!! I might, just might, make it to the two week wait!
This is scary as hell but...I'm excited. I am hopeful.
I'm imagining a baby.
EDIT: And my estradiol is at 453, which is not too low and not too high! Woohoo!!!
Except today, he inserted the wand, did the uterus (blah blah blah, my mind is always going, my lining has never been an issue, skip to the ovaries already)...and I saw follicles! He started measuring and I almost started crying!!
In the end, I have seventeen follicles. Tomorrow I start Ganirelix.
Holy fucking shit.
I might make it to retrieval. We might actually get to try ICSI!!! I might, just might, make it to the two week wait!
This is scary as hell but...I'm excited. I am hopeful.
I'm imagining a baby.
EDIT: And my estradiol is at 453, which is not too low and not too high! Woohoo!!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Day 5(?)--Heroin Chic
I think today is Day Five of stims, but it might only be Day Four. I have taken four injections and take my fifth tonight. So you do the math.
On my original schedule, I was supposed to get an estradiol workup after three nights of stims. Which would have been yesterday. But they changed their minds and so I don't get any scans or any blood work until tomorrow. I should be grateful. My veins need time to heal. I have a very, very large bruise on my left forearm from an IV attempt. It's so large I'm worried about it, and thankful that it's winter so very few people see my forearms. It's gross and also just...so large, so visible. I want it gone. I have a smaller bruise in my right elbow-pit from another attempt. Two attempts, actually, going by the two pin-pricks. I've got a gross one on my left hand, from the blood-draw last Monday, at my cyst check. And I've got two bruises on my right hand (they were one, but have now shrunk into two, with a red pin-prick at the center of each), one from yet another attempt, and one from the actual IV. To my credit (and see how sane I was after the Versed??) when they attempted to remove my IV, I suggested they leave the needle in and draw blood that way, rather than poke me again. They did, after tossing a vial of "watered down" blood first.
So yes, I look like a drug addict. I am not looking forward to tomorrow's poke. But I really wish I'd had a test yesterday. Something to reassure me. "No news is good news" isn't usually the case with me. Rather, "no news is bad news you just don't know yet". I really am trying to be optimistic. I am trying to tune into my ovaries. I feel a bit bloated and swollen today but...I just don't know. I hope this is working.
Please let this be working.
On my original schedule, I was supposed to get an estradiol workup after three nights of stims. Which would have been yesterday. But they changed their minds and so I don't get any scans or any blood work until tomorrow. I should be grateful. My veins need time to heal. I have a very, very large bruise on my left forearm from an IV attempt. It's so large I'm worried about it, and thankful that it's winter so very few people see my forearms. It's gross and also just...so large, so visible. I want it gone. I have a smaller bruise in my right elbow-pit from another attempt. Two attempts, actually, going by the two pin-pricks. I've got a gross one on my left hand, from the blood-draw last Monday, at my cyst check. And I've got two bruises on my right hand (they were one, but have now shrunk into two, with a red pin-prick at the center of each), one from yet another attempt, and one from the actual IV. To my credit (and see how sane I was after the Versed??) when they attempted to remove my IV, I suggested they leave the needle in and draw blood that way, rather than poke me again. They did, after tossing a vial of "watered down" blood first.
So yes, I look like a drug addict. I am not looking forward to tomorrow's poke. But I really wish I'd had a test yesterday. Something to reassure me. "No news is good news" isn't usually the case with me. Rather, "no news is bad news you just don't know yet". I really am trying to be optimistic. I am trying to tune into my ovaries. I feel a bit bloated and swollen today but...I just don't know. I hope this is working.
Please let this be working.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Night Two--Short End of the Marriage Stick
My husband isn't perfect, but he's pretty damn awesome. Lately I've been feeling guilty for being such a bad wife. I'm not a bad person, but what with the near-crippling depression and total focus on baby-making (and not, alas, the "old fashioned way"--why no, our sex lives have been dictated to a certain degree by those in white coats for many, many moons now), I haven't been the sort of wife I'd like to be. Of course, I work and go to school, so my fantasies aren't about vacuuming in high heels and all that, but rather about supporting him as he supports me: emotionally, physically, financially, and yes, house-hold-duties-ly. And lately, he's really been getting the short end of the stick there.
Which is why I've got a made-from-scratch (minus the refrigerated pie crusts...shhh!) pot pie in the oven right now. I'm a good cook (if I do say so myself) and I actually enjoy cooking, so why have I been so lax? No use in chastising my past self, but time to get a move on. I even did the dishes!
I mean, he does have to cum in a cup for me in a week or so.
My ovaries are not making their presence known as of yet. My uterus still is, gee thanks. Hopefully that'll end in a day or two, and I can focus on my ovaries, imagining them covered with growing follicles containing healthy, 23-chromosomed eggs, ripe and ready for...the cup's contents.
The anesthesiologist called me. He said, even though I don't "feel" the pain, I experience it, and I will twitch and try to pull away from the needle. He said it matters less when draining a cyst, but that doctors want very still patients when aspirating the precious contents of numerous follicles. Which I can understand. He also promised me lots and lots of anti-nausea medicine. He did say he won't insist on anesthesia, and I can bring it up with the doctors and nurses, but he "knows what they'll say". Well, so do I, but I figure I'll give it one more go on Tuesday. I'm feeling a tad better about it, but I want to hear from Dr. B himself. Because I'm special like that.
Which is why I've got a made-from-scratch (minus the refrigerated pie crusts...shhh!) pot pie in the oven right now. I'm a good cook (if I do say so myself) and I actually enjoy cooking, so why have I been so lax? No use in chastising my past self, but time to get a move on. I even did the dishes!
I mean, he does have to cum in a cup for me in a week or so.
My ovaries are not making their presence known as of yet. My uterus still is, gee thanks. Hopefully that'll end in a day or two, and I can focus on my ovaries, imagining them covered with growing follicles containing healthy, 23-chromosomed eggs, ripe and ready for...the cup's contents.
The anesthesiologist called me. He said, even though I don't "feel" the pain, I experience it, and I will twitch and try to pull away from the needle. He said it matters less when draining a cyst, but that doctors want very still patients when aspirating the precious contents of numerous follicles. Which I can understand. He also promised me lots and lots of anti-nausea medicine. He did say he won't insist on anesthesia, and I can bring it up with the doctors and nurses, but he "knows what they'll say". Well, so do I, but I figure I'll give it one more go on Tuesday. I'm feeling a tad better about it, but I want to hear from Dr. B himself. Because I'm special like that.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Night One--and No Versed
I've been holding my breath all day, expecting the clinic to call and say they changed their mind and I can't cycle after all. The last time I started stims was, after all, in September, and I've made numerous attempts to get to that point again. To be a few hours away from pumping my belly full of Bravelle is very, very unreal.
Based on a somewhat-inconclusive response to those September stims, I'll be starting on 300IUs of Bravelle. I also take 30IUs of lowdose hCG (the poorman's Menopur) at the same time. But no Lupron! When my follicles are big enough or my e2 is high enough (my money's on the e2, by the way), I start Ganirelix.
Unreal, but pleasegod let it be!
I did call my clinic today. In part to tell them that my period started yesterday, a few hours after the cyst aspiration. (And, I did not say, is making a total bitch of itself ever since, what with excessive volumn and insane cramping. Well, fuck you too, old endometrium!!) And partly just to have them say, "No really, you can start stims tonight, that was not a mistake, see you Tuesday." But mainly...
I had general anesthesia once, when I got my wisdom teeth out. It was an absolute nightmare. I vomited the whole rest of the day and well into the night (so much so that I never even swallowed a pain pill, which didn't help much). I also felt out of sorts for days. I hate to seem all princess-y, but I really do react weirdly to many medications. Not just Lupron, and we all know those stories. Benadryl and its ilk, for example, make my heart race and make me awake and jittery for about 18 hours. I had laughing gas once at the dentist--for a cavity I turned out not to have, by the way--and before they even had me on the 'actual' dose, just the 'relax' dose, I fully passed out, and did not recover enough to drive home for about 4 hours. And my first antimalarial, mefloquine...well, it made me batshit insane, and gave me horrifying nightmares. And it took my years to find a birth control pill I could stand. Etc, etc. I avoid over-the-counters. I pretty much take only my prescribed (and I went through a bunch of those too, mainly due to nausea) pre-natal vitamin and whatever hormones I'm trying in any given month. So I just sort of thought I'd almost die from the anesthesia, but it would be worth it to have a shot at a baby.
But this Versed concoction I was on for the aspiration--WOW! I loved it! I went woozy when they said I would and was conscious enough to walk to the next room to lay down, remember the conversation I had on the phone with my husband, and send my mom (who drove me) back to her own home after she dropped me off. I even watched TV and read instead of just sleeping. I am in total awe. So I want it for my egg retrieval.
And they said no. I don't understand why. They said they don't recommend it because there is more pain due to more pokes. What pain? I don't remember any pain! They've told me they'll have the anaesthesiologist call me. Since he gets my $275, I'm sure he'll do his best to assure me that anesthesia is the best thing. But I'm dissatisfied and intend on bringing it up on Tuesday, and probably on every appointment until egg retrieval, or I get my way.
Do any of you know of a good reason why I can't just have light sedation???
Based on a somewhat-inconclusive response to those September stims, I'll be starting on 300IUs of Bravelle. I also take 30IUs of lowdose hCG (the poorman's Menopur) at the same time. But no Lupron! When my follicles are big enough or my e2 is high enough (my money's on the e2, by the way), I start Ganirelix.
Unreal, but pleasegod let it be!
I did call my clinic today. In part to tell them that my period started yesterday, a few hours after the cyst aspiration. (And, I did not say, is making a total bitch of itself ever since, what with excessive volumn and insane cramping. Well, fuck you too, old endometrium!!) And partly just to have them say, "No really, you can start stims tonight, that was not a mistake, see you Tuesday." But mainly...
I had general anesthesia once, when I got my wisdom teeth out. It was an absolute nightmare. I vomited the whole rest of the day and well into the night (so much so that I never even swallowed a pain pill, which didn't help much). I also felt out of sorts for days. I hate to seem all princess-y, but I really do react weirdly to many medications. Not just Lupron, and we all know those stories. Benadryl and its ilk, for example, make my heart race and make me awake and jittery for about 18 hours. I had laughing gas once at the dentist--for a cavity I turned out not to have, by the way--and before they even had me on the 'actual' dose, just the 'relax' dose, I fully passed out, and did not recover enough to drive home for about 4 hours. And my first antimalarial, mefloquine...well, it made me batshit insane, and gave me horrifying nightmares. And it took my years to find a birth control pill I could stand. Etc, etc. I avoid over-the-counters. I pretty much take only my prescribed (and I went through a bunch of those too, mainly due to nausea) pre-natal vitamin and whatever hormones I'm trying in any given month. So I just sort of thought I'd almost die from the anesthesia, but it would be worth it to have a shot at a baby.
But this Versed concoction I was on for the aspiration--WOW! I loved it! I went woozy when they said I would and was conscious enough to walk to the next room to lay down, remember the conversation I had on the phone with my husband, and send my mom (who drove me) back to her own home after she dropped me off. I even watched TV and read instead of just sleeping. I am in total awe. So I want it for my egg retrieval.
And they said no. I don't understand why. They said they don't recommend it because there is more pain due to more pokes. What pain? I don't remember any pain! They've told me they'll have the anaesthesiologist call me. Since he gets my $275, I'm sure he'll do his best to assure me that anesthesia is the best thing. But I'm dissatisfied and intend on bringing it up on Tuesday, and probably on every appointment until egg retrieval, or I get my way.
Do any of you know of a good reason why I can't just have light sedation???
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Drained
So, the cyst aspiration went pretty well. I have tiny veins, so they tried both my arms and both my hands before finally getting the IV in and flowing, but aside from that it went smoothly. I really like whatever medication I was on (Versed and I think something else?) because I was awake so easily afterwards. (I was awake during it, but not entirely, you know, present.) I'm going to ask for the same thing for ER.
I've also started my period, which means, since I'm supposed to start stims on CD2, I start tomorrow!!! They don't want to see me again till Tuesday, which I find a bit worrisome, but they're doing b/w and u/s as opposed to just b/w, so I guess it'll be fine.
They counted 11 antral follicles, which is a bit low for me. I'm hoping the cyst was hiding a couple more on the right. I'll find out soon I guess!
I've also started my period, which means, since I'm supposed to start stims on CD2, I start tomorrow!!! They don't want to see me again till Tuesday, which I find a bit worrisome, but they're doing b/w and u/s as opposed to just b/w, so I guess it'll be fine.
They counted 11 antral follicles, which is a bit low for me. I'm hoping the cyst was hiding a couple more on the right. I'll find out soon I guess!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I Kind of Can't Believe This But...
I think I might actually cycle this time.
Scary to even hope that. But my blood levels drawn yesterday, while still on the Pill, had my p4 at 0.3 (so obviously, no ovulation) and my e2 at 54. So I think my cyst is non-estrogen producing! I'm also spotting the tiniest bit.
I kind of can't believe this, but I'm starting to get excited!
Scary to even hope that. But my blood levels drawn yesterday, while still on the Pill, had my p4 at 0.3 (so obviously, no ovulation) and my e2 at 54. So I think my cyst is non-estrogen producing! I'm also spotting the tiniest bit.
I kind of can't believe this, but I'm starting to get excited!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Suck It
I kinda thought the first needle going through my vaginal wall and into my ovaries would be for my egg retrieval.
Nope. It's going for a cyst. I'll be under on Versed, which is a good thing, since otherwise I'd probably ask to see the "discharge" (or whatever they call it), and I might very well spit on it too.
Which is to say, the monster cyst on my left ovary is gone, but the one on the right is still hanging out at 3cm. I'm having it aspirated Wednesday. I'm more upset at having to miss work (they're going to fire me one of these days--it's a small business so no FMLA or anything to protect me) than anything. I was pretty much expecting to have to do this, what with the way my ovaries have behaved the past 4-5 months.
I just hope my stupid insurance company covers any of it.
The things we do...
Nope. It's going for a cyst. I'll be under on Versed, which is a good thing, since otherwise I'd probably ask to see the "discharge" (or whatever they call it), and I might very well spit on it too.
Which is to say, the monster cyst on my left ovary is gone, but the one on the right is still hanging out at 3cm. I'm having it aspirated Wednesday. I'm more upset at having to miss work (they're going to fire me one of these days--it's a small business so no FMLA or anything to protect me) than anything. I was pretty much expecting to have to do this, what with the way my ovaries have behaved the past 4-5 months.
I just hope my stupid insurance company covers any of it.
The things we do...
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