4dp5dt: The End is Nigh

Ok, now, I believe religion should be treated with respect. I myself am not religious, but I was raised religious, many of my best friends are religious, I've lived in different cultures and been exposed to many religions (not just branches of Christianity--actually many different religions) in depth. So I don't mock.

But if you predict a day and a time for the rapture, you're really just setting yourself up.

But anyway. Suffice to say, should said rapture occur, I will very likely not be going. Which I'm kind of glad about.

I have a BF?.

Yesterday, my first day of testing, the conversation with my husband went like this:

HIM: So what does it say?
ME: Well...
HIM: It's too early, right?
ME: More or less.
HIM: Meaning?
ME: Well...when I hold it at a certain angle, I can kind of see a line.
HIM: What does that mean?
ME: ...it's too early.

Today, conversation went like this:
ME: Look! (Shoves still damp stick under his nose) I dipped a second one, just in case.
HIM: I don't see anything.
ME: No, LOOK!
HIM: ...that?
ME: Yes, that!
HIM: What umm, what is it?
ME: It's a very clear shadow. It's clearer than I remember my 9dpo test being last time.
HIM: Nine days past O?
ME: Where I am today. 4 days post-transfer. It's darker, I swear.
HIM: Go look!

Well, of course I kept the tests. I kept the tests, the embryo pictures (we have 2, one pre-freeze and one post-thaw), and our first ultrasound pictures. It's all I have of my almost-baby. I wish I'd had the courage and presence of mind to ask for ultrasound pictures the second time. No, there was no heart. There wasn't even a visible fetus. But the sac was so much bigger. It wasn't viable but it was still alive.

Anyway.

The tests from last time are very dry, and somewhat dusty. I looked at my 4dp5dt one and couldn't see the shadow I know I saw. But of course, the tests from this morning are still somewhat damp--the lines are pink, not a faded purple.

I can't really compare to last time, at least not yet.

There is something. I don't know what to do with it. I don't want to get overly excited. But I don't want to deny myself joy either.

Frankly, I simply cannot believe it. I can't believe one of those embryos is becoming a baby. It boggles my mind.

So I'm glad I'm not getting raptured today, because I really want to see how this all plays out.